part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
