D3 body, D1 cock
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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