She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
