Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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