I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
