I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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