I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
