Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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