My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my vag is so smooth its legendary
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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