i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
