Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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