Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
