come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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