Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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