I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
