I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my poor anus
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
