My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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