i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
