I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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