can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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