Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
