Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They took my balls.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
