Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
