I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
