Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think my vagina is haunted
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
