he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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