i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am one with the molecules
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
