After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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