he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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