Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
