CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
