she peed on how many people?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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