I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
