Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
