I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
