Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
