I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
