Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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