Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
