two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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