She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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