He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
