Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
