I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
