Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
