giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
