she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Randomize
