am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
