I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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