So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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